Insomniac

Lying awake again @ 5am. Wondering what the point of existence is. Wondering why I even care what the point is. Wondering what death really is.  Wondering what life really is. Wondering what I could have done differently, if I even would. Listening to the wind outside, the clock on the wall, the cars in the distance, the sounds of my own restless body shifting in the sheets. Mind racing over so many random unimportant and important things. I'm alone, but I'm alive. I am loved, but unsure if I am capable of love. I am free, but I am trapped. I don't want to live, but I'm too scared to die.